Dear Diary… Monday, April 22nd


Dear diary, I’m sure you’re probably wondering why I haven’t brought any gist to you yet. Well it’s because so much has happened in the past week and right now I’m very very sad and I don’t know what to do. On Sunday last week, I didn’t hear from Dozie all through the day and I kept wondering why. I was actually down with malaria and I texted him but I didn’t get any reply. In the evening, I got worse and my sister had to take me to the hospital where I was given some medication and then I came back. I ate, took the medicine and slept off. I woke up at about 3:00am and still there was nothing from Dozie. I got really worried at this point. Dozie never ignores me. He simply never does that! I tried his number and the phone was switched off and my heart dropped. I went to Amaka’s room and woke her up and told her that I couldn’t reach Dozie. She was really sleepy and somehow managed to convince me to go back to bed, stating several reasons why I might not have heard from him. I wasn’t convinced but I lay in her bed and before long, I was asleep. Monday morning, I called in sick at the office and as soon as Amaka was gone, I took a cab straight to Dozie’s office. I waited for a while before his boss came in and I even though I tried to hide it, I didn’t look too good. His boss mis-read me and assumed that I had already “heard.” He walked up to me where I was seated in the visitor’s seat and sat beside me. I greeted him and smiled bravely, intending to ask whether he had heard from Dozie and the next thing he said just threw me off. “Nkem, I’m so sorry about Dozie. As soon as I heard, my first thought was of you…”

He had been holding my hand and I pulled back the moment his words hit me. “What happened to Dozie?” Panic filled my voice. He looked surprised. “My God! I’m so sorry. I thought you had heard.” I looked at him fiercely and there was a fire in my eyes as I said “Tell me what happened to Dozie.” Apparently Dozie had been involved in a terrible accident on sunday afternoon. His office had been contacted but no one thought to inform me. I was just blank. How could no one think to tell me? and how did Dozie get involved in an accident? His family was Lagos-based and his parents had been contacted and then I the girlfriend was not aware? That was not even the major problem. I stormed out of the office and called Amaka as I took a cab back home. From what his boss said, he was in pretty bad shape but he could not tell me just how bad. I was frightened, really frightened. I remember telling Amaka over the phone that if Dozie died I was going to kill myself and she did her best to try and calm me over the phone, saying he would be fine and that regardless of what happened to him, she was certain he would not want me to hurt myslef on his account. I got home, packed my things and took a cab to the airport. Amaka paid some money into my account and as soon as I got to the airport, I was lucky to find a flight leaving for Port Harcourt within the hour. I paid for it and waited impatiently.

Here’s one weird thing. Dozie isn’t really close to his parents so even though we’ve been dating for almost a year, they do not know that I exist. His two siblings are twins, both girls and both are in their final year in UniLag. They know about me but we don’t talk much. I’ll just say we don’t really get along, the girls are rather full of themselves. Anyways, I happened to have both their numbers and so I called the moment I landed PH. They told me the name of the hospital and with no further help from them, I found the place. The whole meeting was really weird. The girls were there in all their pettiness and his parents were there too. Pretty snubbish people. I introduced myself as his friend and I spent a few awkward minutes outside before they finally let me into his room.

Long story short, the accident was indeed terrible and Dozie was in a coma. It was all I could do not to faint at the news. I insisted on staying with him till him came to. His parents said they had business to take care of and wouldn’t be there all the time, his sisters said they had to go back to school… Everything was just somehow. Conversations with his parents were painful and awkward. They didn’t seem to approve of me but they just wouldn’t say. I always told Dozie he had a weird family and we would laugh it off but the last few days in PH were everything but amusing. By thursday evening, they had all gone and I was alone in the hospital with Dozie. I even grew lean. I wasn’t really eating. I just kept crying and praying and thinking about so many things. Why on earth was Dozie distant from his family? It was during this time that I recalled that every single time I had tried to get him to talk about his family, he always managed to change the topic somehow. And now, it really worried me. The doctors assured me that he would come around soon but they weren’t certain when. But in the meantime, I practiced something I had seen in the movies once. I kept talking to Dozie’s comatose body, reminding him of how happy we were, telling him how much I missed him and willing him to just wake up.

He finally did wake up on Saturday afternoon and tears of relief flooded down. I don’t know whether all my talk had anything to do with it or not but I was glad he was awake. The doctors said he would be fine, no bones were broken and he just needed rest and could be home in less than a week. I was glad. We talked a lot but with so many intervals because the doctor said it wasn’t wise to stress his brain. When I mentioned that his parents had been around and that I’d met them, he got mad. He didn’t yell or put up any displays but it was very clear that he was angry and I couldn’t understand it. As usual he locked down when I started asking questions and when I insisted, he threatened to have me sent out of the hospital if I didn’t stop. This was last night. By this morning he insisted I return back to Abuja. I was upset because I had a feeling it had to do with my questions last night. I even promised that I wouldn’t raise the matter again but he was adamant. He said I needed to get back to the office; well, even I knew that was true. My boss had tried to understand while he was in a coma but now that he was out of it she had begun asking when I would return.

I took the 12:30 flight to Abuja and I wrote this on my way from the airport to the house. I got home a few minutes ago and I just want to shower and sleep because I am so tired. Dozie has just been cool towards me all day and that is just wearing me down. It’s been a hell of a week for me and like I said, right now I’m confused. I don’t even know what to think or feel. I do know that things may likely never be the same between Dozie and I, ever again. No matter what it was that happened with his parents, I have a right to know, or don’t you think so?

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