Testing the waters


Several times I hear people talk about heartbreaks, hurts, how friends broke their trust, how they got cheated in business… Most times, some of these sad occurrences are not our fault but at other times, they are. Am I blaming you for someone else’s act of foolishness? Uhh maybe. But hang on, before you vex too much.

A number of times, when we meet people, we do not attempt to check them out first, we just go all out and release ourselves. We tend to be too trusting. You don’t believe me yeah? Okay. I’m all for believing the best about people and finding the best in them and I know quite a number of us “good” ones share the same opinion. So what does this imply? that we meet people and we choose to give them the benefit of doubt and we take them for who they appear to be without testing to be sure that they are really who they say they are.

In all honesty, the extent to which you would know a person is the limit to which they let you but you must do your best to ensure that you test the waters and mind you, you do not do that with both feet. What am I driving at? Before I make friends with someone I just met, I will try to objectively look beyond the smiles and laughter and how much fun I had in their company that day. I will try to look beyond all the smooth words that flowed effortlessly from them. I’m not just talking about guys, I’m talking about the ladies too! Have you noticed that the ones who hurt us with their words usually had the best and nicest things to say to us prior to that time?  Think about it. “Fronting” is a “normal” thing now. People pretend so much, one tends to wonder if they will drop dead being themselves.

Nothing is ever really as it seems, people are never truly who they say they are. It’s pretty sad that the world we live in today is filled with dishonest people, but that’s just the way it is. So in a bid to protect ourselves, I’d suggest that you make a careful and thorough assessment of every one that comes your way, especially if in the long run, they’ll gain access to your heart. Test the waters, you can never be 100% certain but make an effort at least. Learn to look beyond the obvious, and see what is hidden. Don’t be in a hurry to lose yourself; trust takes time.

Sometimes we get so carried away by charisma and we forget to test for character. Charisma really isn’t everything; character is. So that’s my little lesson for today, test the waters and know who you take into confidence. If someone cannot manage a little bit of information you share with them, I assure you, they will not manage something greater. Trust isn’t something you award to anyone who feels they are worthy of it, it is something that is earned over time.

I hope this helps someone, some way. And I’m sorry my piece on Intimidation didn’t come out today like I said it would. In truth, great things take time, plus I had a very busy day at the office.

Hope you enjoyed this. I look forward to your feedback.

Yours always,



2 thoughts on “Testing the waters

  1. I’ve learnt that it’s very important to do that in Nigeria. Peeps catch you unawares when they show their true color. That’s why I prefer to show who I am at first, the good and the better, no bad. hehe


    • lol. No bad eh? Noted. Anyways, it is really important that we let people know who we really are from the very beginning so we avoid surprises as much as possible. Bear in mind however that not everyone can be you so it’s always safer to be on your guard at all times. Keep testing the waters.
      Thank you for your feedback. Cheers


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