“Tosan, I’m sorry, I really did not mean to”
I ignored him and continued putting on my make-up.
“Tosan, I’m begging you, please, it was a mistake.”
I did not even look up from the mirror.
“Tosan, she meant nothing to me. I was upset and I was drunk. Baby, please, look at me”
He placed his hands on my knees and I shook them off. I got up and walked to my bedside. I picked up my handbag and I finally turned to him.
“That’s what you all say. It didn’t mean anything. Yes, it did not mean anything. You just happened to get drunk after our fight last night, kiss a girl and still have the guts to tell me about it.”
“Tosan, I’m telling you because it meant nothing. I’m really sorry, I swear…”
He covered his face in both hands. I could see he was exasperated. I should give in, I think. But no, I want him to suffer a little more. My shakara and my pride are holding me back. So instead of hugging him and saying I forgive him, I simply say “Leave me alone. I’m really mad at you. Abeg I’m going out and I want to lock my door.”
He looks at me with this really sad look in his eyes. Again, I’m tempted to give in and so I decide if he says he’s sorry one more time, I probably will.
He doesn’t apologize again. Instead, he walks out through the door, shutting it calmly behind him.
Ahh, he can still do shakara abi? I’ll make him pay!
I leave the house and drive off to my meeting.
I had been there for about an hour when the call came in.
He was dead.
Stray bullet to the chest during a robbery at a gift store.
He had gone to buy me a bottle of perfume alongside my favourite box of chocolates, all to say he was sorry.
I really should have forgiven him.
Life is too short to stay mad at the ones we really love.


29 thoughts on “Forgiveness

  1. Wow! Wow!! Wow!!! How sad…
    Makes me wonder though, how do we balance our shakara and emotions?
    What is the right thing to do?
    A little less of self I think, guided by the maxim below.
    “Life is too short to stay mad at the ones we really love”.


  2. Wow! I did not see that coming!

    God help us not to fall prey to our emotions at every turn. Jesus doesn’t keep grudges, we should follow his example with the help of the Spirit of course.


  3. Hmmmmn,its really hard xpecially wen d oda person s d 1 offendn more. There s nid 4 shakara so as nt 2 b toiled wif anihow buh ur shakara shldnt b long nyc Piece Madam.


  4. unforgiveness keeps many from living victorious. Truthfully we should learn to forgive even without apologies being offered. If we really understand how short life really is we will treasure our loved ones. shakara is enough after two apologies biko. why punish?

    well done.


  5. Its the truth ’bout life. “Shakara” eventually makes us lose the ones we dearly love. Either thousands/millions of miles in distance away or to the great six feet beneath. Let’s learn to forgive quickly and love truly. Quite strong a message for a very brief emotional piece, wife!


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