I don’t even know where to start. I’m having one of those waves of sadness that have become a part of my every day. Different waves. Sadness, hurt, anger and then back to sadness. Sometimes I forget to feel and I go about my routine. Then I remember and the waves come crashing over me again.
I remember when we first met. It was at Ifeoma’s wedding. You instantly made a strong impression. You had too much energy, just like me. Yoppy, playful, happy, fun, exciting. The last born mischief syndrome ran in your blood so well. So yeah, we got along really well. I remember how you took Kachi and I to a stream to swim and my mum was totally freaked out. Everyone asked her to calm down, you were a really good swimmer so we were in a safe hands.
You gave me the very first cellphone I ever used. It was a tiny motorola but I was so excited to have it! I remember how we talked every other day after I returned to Zaria. You were that really cool cousin that I was always running my mouth to. I remember how your friends kept wondering who the girl was that you’d spend over an hour talking to on the phone all the time.
I remember how lots of time went by and somehow we drifted apart. I lost my phone and lost your contact so we were out of touch for a few years but you never left my heart for a minute. I remember finding your number and surprising you with a call on your birthday and you were totally shocked. I kept grinning like a monkey even though you couldn’t see me. The joy and gratitude you carried in your voice made me happy too.
I remember the last time we saw. It was at Chinedu’s wedding. We couldn’t talk much coz you were running around so much but we managed to exchange pins and keep in touch for a bit till my phone crashed. I remember all the facebook messages. You always called me your baby…
It’s not just that you left us but the manner in which you were snatched away that hurts like crazy. You were just 26 with so much to offer. Your departure hit us really hard. No one saw it coming at all.
Mum misses you, dad misses you, your siblings miss you, uncles and aunties, everyone! And I miss you. Ever so much! It’s interesting that the first time I met you was at a sibling’s wedding and the last time I saw you was also at a sibling’s wedding. Anyways, you’re gone now but I’m thankful that I had the opportunity to meet you and love you up close. You weren’t a cousin in name only. You were blood, you were family and you rocked!
Our sun has set at noon. But we know that all will be well with us in time. The waves are gonna keep crashing over me for a long time to come and I’m sure it’s same for everyone of us but little by little, one day after another, we’ll get through them.
For you, my precious cousin. You’ll forever be in my heart.
Good night Kay.