2014; Battles and Victories

So I decided to share my review of this year on the blog.

I pray you find something here that helps you somewhat.

To start this review, I’ll begin with a few lines from Nosa’s song; “Why You Love me so”

In fact, me I don’t know where to start,

Me I no fit solve maths

You dey blow my mind dey go…

2014 simply flew by and I am much better than when I started the year. In fact, I am amazed at all that happened this year. For about 80%, I never hessperredit!

Let me share highlights

JANUARY

January was incredible for me. After months of bonding online with my wonderful soul sisters (well, and physically interacting with one of them), we finally all got to meet. Queen and Chidimma came to spend about a week at my place and it was absolutely refreshing. Lots of laughs, talks and roasted yam.

The boo moved out of town and I can remember clearly how that felt. Lol. I kept trying so hard to just be normal but it was tough. After spending over a year in the same vicinity, it was hard to imagine him not being within reach. In fact the Sunday he left, I kept looking back in church expecting to see him. Beht I got through January just fine.

My lesson for the month?

Sometimes leave your comfort zone and see how you fare. Might not be as bad as you think out there.

FEBRUARY

I got paid for writing for the first time in my life and it was a really awesome feeling. It was a writing gig for a magazine so I wrote a few articles and got paid. Great stuff.

One of the schools I’d applied to in Canada for my masters turned me down. Bummer. That rejection humbled me. I can’t even lie. All my life, academics had been smooth sailing. I’d begun to feel like some really smart kid. I guess that put a check on my big head.

I realized this year that I’m not a huge fan of Valentine. Lol. Funny. Hopeless romantic that I am (or was), but I feel it’s pointless waiting for just one day to show love. What happens to the rest of the year?

Anyways, whilst people were getting into the lovey-dovey spirit, the boo and I had a frank conversation and decided it was the end of the road. It was a funny kind of break up. No fight, no quarrel, no anger. Just two honest people doing what they knew was best to be done at the time. I remember us going to see a movie together afterwards. Lol. Interesting something.

For a few days after we split, I tried to be tough. I kept telling myself this wasn’t anybody’s fault. Shit happens so you suck it up and move on beht brethren, can I be honest? It was hard! This was new for me and I wasn’t sure how to handle it. If we’d had a fight, the anger would have helped me deal with the pain. But all I had in that period was hurt, pain and the cold hard truth staring me in my face that we just could not be together. So four days later, I finally let myself go and cried my heart out. I began to get better afterwards.

I remember going to work the morning after I’d cried my eyes out. I’d put on some makeup to hide my swollen eyes and I listened to some good music all the way to the office. When I got in, my colleague said “You’re really glowing o. I wish what you’re going through now is contagious, I’d like to contact it.”

Yeah, you can imagine the look on my face.

My lesson for the month?

1. There’s always a lot more going on beyond the surface. Envy no man for what you can see.
2. It’s alright to hurt. Accepting and dealing with pain does not make you weak. Denying or running away from it does.

MARCH

March was my month of weakness. March had me flirting heavily and looking for hearts to break. (Thankfully, I found none.) But for the most of March, I was a mess. Well, until Lent started and I decided to go on the 40 day fast and look to Jesus to help deal with the hurt.

I remember mum saying to me, “I know you’re hurting but don’t do anything crazy. Just take it one day at a time, you’ll be fine” Bless her heart, my mother is everything to me.

March 29^th, my cousin was murdered. His death shook me up. Nothing would ever have prepared me for it.

My lesson for the month?

If you get hurt for any reason, accept it, deal with it and try to not make others pay for something they know nothing about.

APRIL

My birth month. The month started out a little sour; dealing with the cousin’s death as a family. But it got better as the days went by.

I got a job in Lagos and was really excited about it. After all my mouth; “you can’t pay me money to live in Lagos. The city is too razz.” I ate my words and moved down here o. Lol.

The bestie of 12 years also moved to Lagos and finally for the first time in 5 years, we were close together again.

I had an amazing birthday! Thanks to amazing friends and family. Was indeed my best birthday so far.

My lesson for the month?

Live one day at a time. Life gets better in time.

MAY

In fact, the month got off to an awesome start. I met a movie director that took an interest in my work and decided to work with me to make movies. Madly exciting it was for me!

Ohh, I had a crush on one really nice guy like that but mehn, the heart was not ready for nothing o. Sad something abi? It was a lot of great conversations and I realized a friendship was just all I could handle.

The second school I’d applied to for Masters turned me down as well. Didn’t hurt so much. I guess I was kinda expecting it.

The job I moved down to Lagos for did not start one month later and I got really nervous. I recall having so many mood swings and panic attacks that the nice gentleman helped me through. Bless his heart, some friends simply weigh gold.

The ex and I also started drifting into a normal friendship. Not like we’d been enemies before but it became increasingly easier to just gist without any emotional weight tugging at my heart.

Lesson for the month?

Breathe! You stress out consistently, you lose your mind.

JUNE

I got my first screenwriting lessons and worked on my first script ever for a TV series. Director was impressed with the work and I began to feel, maybe writing truly is my calling. Lol.

Work resumed finally! And I was really glad.

Then my director gave me a script (feature film length) to fix that had been written by someone else. That has to be my most challenging task all year. I doctored that script in less than 48 hours and everyone was amazed by my work. And that was what opened the door officially for me as a screenwriter.

I realized this month that I’d fallen in love with Lagos, just as was predicted by a good friend.

My grandmother passed on this month. She was 93

Lesson for the month?

1. Take a leap of faith.
2. Do not judge anything you have not experienced first hand

JULY

Another crush this month. Lots of writing too and then work. My blog turned 2 and I was excited about it. I haven’t quit the blog yet and I’m still as passionate about it as when I started. Scratch that. I’m even more passionate about it.

July basically had me working a lot, having been given more responsibilities at the office and writing a lot as well.

Lesson for the month?

Constantly build capacity and work to maintain relevance wherever you find yourself.

AUGUST

The Ebola scare in Lagos shook me up a lot.

I spent weeks working on a script that was really great (in my mind), and my director took it apart in one night. In fact. I was too weak to cry. But it taught me a major lesson. No matter how ‘good’ you are at something, there’s always room for improvement.

Like July, August was a month of busy schedules and some strained friendships. Anyone who called me a workaholic in July and August was totally justified.

My major lesson for the month?

Learn, grow and consistently become better.

SEPTEMBER

Good and bad things happened. A friend threw me a curveball that left me numb with shock, GTBank used me to shine (but that was just the beginning), faced a lot of pressure this month. In fact, you could say that in September, I had some of the most stressful and emotionally draining days ever! Boy, was I glad to see the month end!

And the good stuff? I got paid for my first feature film movie script. Six figures. In fact. I can’t describe my joy, knowing that I could earn that much simply by investing a little time doing something I love to do. That was my crowning moment for September.

My lesson for the month?

1 Corinthians 24b “For by faith we stand” #Dassall

OCTOBER

Granny’s funeral. I finally hooked up with cousins and relatives I hadn’t seen in donkey years. I was totally grateful for the renewed relationships and strengthened friendships.

I cried at the funeral though. Didn’t think I would, but I did. Being there made me realize the frailty of human nature. And also made me realize that whether aged 19 or 90, the loss of a loved one will hurt. A LOT.

Realized my crush on a certain crush had not died out. I’m still a human being afterall. Lol.

Then GTBank used me to overshine. I spent the entire month chasing them for one reference letter. It was unbelievable madness. I guess the Lord was trying to teach me longsuffering.

October was a great month anyways. More responsibilities at the office which made me feel even more relevant. A lot of hangouts with great friends.

In fact my lesson for October?

Not every time hustle, sometimes chill. Life is for the living

NOVEMBER

I tried to strike a balance this month. Work, time out with friends, more writing. An old crush reappeared, my mum came through for me. With every passing day, I keep realizing that my mum is special. Really special.

My confirmation came at the office with an increased pay. Not very significant, but still.

My lesson for the month?

You don’t quit at the first sign of trouble. You stay persistent, you stay and fight till you win.

Actually, my mum taught me that.

DECEMBER

Interestingly, the month didn’t exactly start out great. Something major I’d been working on didn’t click and it really threw me off balance. I had several moments of doubts, panic attacks and mood swings, it was crazy. Thank God for good people who helped me through them.

My highlight? Receiving an award at my company end of year dinner for ‘value addition’ to the team. I got an iPad as well. I cried that night. Truly, I never hessperredit.

Still crushing on a certain crush. Well.

Lesson for the month?

Psa 65:11 “Thou crownest the year with thy goodness; and thy drops of fatness”

And this too:

Personal motivation is extremely crucial. Be crazy enough to believe in your own dreams and don’t let anyone burn you out with ‘be realistic’

***

In all, I am grateful for 2014. I have grown so much. My major lesson for this year was to rightly balance logic and emotion in all my dealings. Either extreme will wreck you. So find a balance. Then learn, grow and build capacity. I must have made those two statements a million times this year.

In 2014, I lived, loved, laughed, hurt, cried, panicked and took some really bold/brave steps and did some really silly stuff as well. Old friendships were strengthened and I grew some really solid one particularly as I moved to Lagos. It amazed me how seemingly random people I met online could grow to matter so much to me that I could just about anything for them in a heartbeat (Eloho and Seun, you guys mean a lot to me.)

My relationship with God got better. This year, I learned to trust God in the good times and in the bad too because He’s always got a plan, even when it doesn’t look like it.

So I’m going into 2015 determined to do better still. To write more, read more, learn more and grow more. To develop positive healthy relationships, to smile some more, to put a smile on the faces of others, laugh some more and live some more.

Ps. If you don’t keep a journal, you should.

January 1 2015 would be a great time to start

If you read this to the end, then you are a superhero and I love you so!

You can share your own 2014 experience and what you learned in the comment section.

Thank you for being here. I’ve got great stuff coming in 2015. I hope you stick with me.

Have a fantastic New Year!

With all the love in my heart,

Yougeecash

Photo Credit: The Lex Ash Photography (He takes the most amazing pictures btw. You should patronize him)