I still remember the phone call that morning that brought me the news. I remember screaming, tossing my phone and rolling on the floor, not even knowing that I hadn’t heard right.
I remember people rallying around me and asking me to be calm. I remember the second phone call that dispelled my first fear but broke my heart a second time. By the time the news sank in, I was numb and weak. So I leaned on a tree and simply let the tears flow uninhibited. I was at church rehearsing for a concert but for the first time, music was not soothing to my ears.
I remember the million flashbacks I had; moments spent in your company. Moments of laughter, joy and endless teasing, our Facebook chats, our talks over the phone… I remember receiving little updates on the details surrounding the event. I remember asking “why?” “how?” I mean, some things are simply unfathomable, unthinkable, and this was one of such.
I remember going home with a friend that night after crying my eyes out. I tried to sleep but the darkness and mosquitoes plus the hollowness in my heart made sleep impossible. Morning came with the same gloom from the night. Nothing had changed. I made it through the day somehow and the following morning I was on a flight to Lagos. I met mum, dad, Ify, Chinedu, Ogonna, Obinna, everyone except you. And the reality of your death hit me fiercer than the force of a tornado.
In truth, I didn’t think I would get over losing you. I wasn’t sure any of us would actually. But time, see, time is a healer. Time has gone by and even if we didn’t ‘get over’ losing you, we have accepted it and made our peace with it.
It’s been a year since you were violently taken away from us but here we are, still standing. We bask in the euphoria of your awesome memories. Your laughter, your mischief, your smile, your pleasant company, your loving heart, your ever-ready-to-help persona… One thing is certain, you will never be forgotten.
We love you very much Kay and we miss you. But we have accepted that we can only hold on to you tightly in our hearts as the days and years go by. Indeed to live in the hearts of those who love you is not to die. You live in our hearts Kay, forever.
Sleep well my darling cousin,
Till the morning of the resurrection.