K.O

She had been following me on Twitter for 3 months and I didn’t even notice. Occasionally she retweeted, favorited and even replied some of my tweets but more than half the time, I ignored her. It wasn’t deliberate. When you have close to a hundred thousand followers on Twitter, only a handful stand out.

I tweeted from church that Sunday morning and she replied almost immediately asking why I was tweeting in church. She was teasing. The picture in her AVI looked pretty and I wondered who she was. I zoomed the picture and my goodness, she was absolutely stunning!

I followed immediately and sent a DM. I mean, conversations with pretty ladies are best held in private, No?

An hour later and we were still chatting. I was having a great time and it had absolutely nothing to do with the service. My eyes were glued to her AVI; full lips parted in a bright smile, nicely shaped eyebrows, perfectly pointed nose, a hand on her chin that showed long, nicely curved nails. They weren’t even painted. I kept thinking to myself. How did I not notice that such a hottie was following me?

She lived in the same area my church was located. Had to be fate.

Can I buy you lunch after my service today?

Strike while the iron is hot. No chills whatsoever

That will be nice. Thank you.

Soon as the service was over, I drove out to the Sweet Sensation where we agreed to meet.

She showed up ten minutes later.

When I saw her, I froze.

The person before me was bony and had uneven teeth which she bared in a grin that looked like a dog’s growling face.

I opened my mouth and shut it a few times. If you’ve watched Mary Poppins, I pretty much looked like Michael when the drawers in the room were opening and shutting.

First thing I said to her;

“Uh, that’s not you in your picture on twitter?”

With the growl-like smile still in place,

“Oh no! That’s my cousin. Today is her birthday so I put it up this morning.”