Dear Diary… Thursday April 25th

dd

Dear diary, on Tuesday evening, I had a total break down. No surprise. Amaka came home to meet me lying in bed shivering terribly and crying. She quickly rushed me to the hospital where I was admitted immediately. I passed the night at the hospital with Amaka right by my side.
Yesterday morning, the doctor came in to see me and asked several questions. His diagnosis was stress and a bit of malaria and he said he would keep me in till Thursday. I had no objections. Much as I hate hospitals, I had no fight left in me and I knew I just had to do as I was told. Amaka went to my office and had a chat with my boss. She didn’t tell me how the conversation went but my boss came to see me at the close of work. I was really surprised and I didn’t know how to react. She brought fruits and said she wished me a quick recovery. She didn’t apologize for being mean to me the day before but she did say I should take the rest of the week off. I didn’t argue. She left.
The next good thing that happened, Dozie called me! Amaka is really a miracle worker. He sounded better. Not all cheery but warm. He said Amaka told him I was ill and he was sorry he hadn’t called. He said a lot had happened and promised that we would talk upon his return which should be on Saturday.
I spent the whole of today just resting and watching tv. I feel a whole lot better now. Looks like it’ll all work out afterall.
I really love Amaka. She’s the best sister ever! Ada my eldest sis called earlier today and my parents too. Everyone was fussing over me and it felt really nice.
I got home about an hour ago. Amaka got me shawarma and ice cream and we’ve been gisting for a while. I’m feeling much better now. 🙂

Dear diary… Tuesday, April 23rd

dd

Dear diary, I slept through most of yesterday and by the time Amaka returned home in the evening, I was feeling a little better. We talked through all the events of the past week and she really sympathized with me. Dozie was still distant. As a matter of fact, he turned off his phone shortly after I got back to Abuja. I called him to tell him I’d gotten in and in his stiff tone, he simply said “good. I’ll be turning off my phone now. The doctor said I need as much rest as I can get”. Like I wasn’t hurting enough, his words really pierced deeper into my heart. Amaka told me I needed a break and I would have to take one. I just shook my head. I’d probably get fired if I tried that. We had dinner and I retired early.

I woke up this morning with a splitting headache. It was as though a bunch of hammers were dancing azonto and alanta in my head all at once! My temperature was a little high but I convinced myself I could make it to the office. I took a warm bath and had Amaka drop me off as usual. She looked at me just before she drove off and said “you really look terrible. If anything happens, call me”. Amaka of life! She’s just the best. I walked into the office and my boss was in a sour mood. I sighed. I really did not have the strength for that. She asked about Dozie’s health more out of courtesy than genuine concern. I said he was getting better and just needed more rest. She then proceeded to outline all our activities for the day. Reports that had piled up in the last week that I needed to do. A meeting at 12pm at Hilton with some foreign stakeholders and I was expected to accompany her and take notes… When she was done she simply said, “better wake up, we have a lot to do and I do not tolerate laziness.” I wanted to cry. I had been having a terrible time the past week and nobody cared! Even Dozie was still distant. I sighed and went to my desk. We worked steadily through the day. I did the reports but even I knew they were poorly done because I was so tired and my boss complained endlessly about them. We went for the meeting, a rather boring one and I kept dozing off. She got tired of nudging me endlessly and eventually said to me in a sharp whisper “one more of that from you and I will smack you back to the present!” At that point I really couldn’t take it anymore. I opened my journal on my iPad and started writing this. It kept me awake long enough. The meeting finally ended at 3pm and I waited for her to go off on me on our way back to the office and she did not disappoint. She yelled at me, asking why I was embarrassing her and whether I did not love my job and how she was on the verge of firing me. I looked her in the eye and I said “I’m sorry ma. But you have no idea what I have been through. The last one week was really hectic for me and I have not been able to get enough sleep. I don’t even feel too well…” She did not let me finish before she rudely cut me off “then quit! If this is too much for you to handle, just quit!” At that point, I realized she had pushed me past breaking point. I kept quiet and the moment we got into the office, I packed up my stuff and walked out without saying a word to her. One of the Admin officers saw me walking out with tears in my eyes and he called me aside and asked what was wrong. I said nothing but he insisted and that was when the tears came flooding down. He took me to his office and I told him every single thing that had happened and he told me not to worry that everything would be alright. He promised to speak to my boss on my behalf and asked me to just go home, eat and rest. I stopped at a pharmacy to buy some anti-malaria drugs on my home. I got in not too long ago and decided to post this. At this point, I’m just broken. Still no word from Dozie all day. #sigh. It is well…

Dear Diary… Monday, April 22nd

dd

Dear diary, I’m sure you’re probably wondering why I haven’t brought any gist to you yet. Well it’s because so much has happened in the past week and right now I’m very very sad and I don’t know what to do. On Sunday last week, I didn’t hear from Dozie all through the day and I kept wondering why. I was actually down with malaria and I texted him but I didn’t get any reply. In the evening, I got worse and my sister had to take me to the hospital where I was given some medication and then I came back. I ate, took the medicine and slept off. I woke up at about 3:00am and still there was nothing from Dozie. I got really worried at this point. Dozie never ignores me. He simply never does that! I tried his number and the phone was switched off and my heart dropped. I went to Amaka’s room and woke her up and told her that I couldn’t reach Dozie. She was really sleepy and somehow managed to convince me to go back to bed, stating several reasons why I might not have heard from him. I wasn’t convinced but I lay in her bed and before long, I was asleep. Monday morning, I called in sick at the office and as soon as Amaka was gone, I took a cab straight to Dozie’s office. I waited for a while before his boss came in and I even though I tried to hide it, I didn’t look too good. His boss mis-read me and assumed that I had already “heard.” He walked up to me where I was seated in the visitor’s seat and sat beside me. I greeted him and smiled bravely, intending to ask whether he had heard from Dozie and the next thing he said just threw me off. “Nkem, I’m so sorry about Dozie. As soon as I heard, my first thought was of you…”

He had been holding my hand and I pulled back the moment his words hit me. “What happened to Dozie?” Panic filled my voice. He looked surprised. “My God! I’m so sorry. I thought you had heard.” I looked at him fiercely and there was a fire in my eyes as I said “Tell me what happened to Dozie.” Apparently Dozie had been involved in a terrible accident on sunday afternoon. His office had been contacted but no one thought to inform me. I was just blank. How could no one think to tell me? and how did Dozie get involved in an accident? His family was Lagos-based and his parents had been contacted and then I the girlfriend was not aware? That was not even the major problem. I stormed out of the office and called Amaka as I took a cab back home. From what his boss said, he was in pretty bad shape but he could not tell me just how bad. I was frightened, really frightened. I remember telling Amaka over the phone that if Dozie died I was going to kill myself and she did her best to try and calm me over the phone, saying he would be fine and that regardless of what happened to him, she was certain he would not want me to hurt myslef on his account. I got home, packed my things and took a cab to the airport. Amaka paid some money into my account and as soon as I got to the airport, I was lucky to find a flight leaving for Port Harcourt within the hour. I paid for it and waited impatiently.

Here’s one weird thing. Dozie isn’t really close to his parents so even though we’ve been dating for almost a year, they do not know that I exist. His two siblings are twins, both girls and both are in their final year in UniLag. They know about me but we don’t talk much. I’ll just say we don’t really get along, the girls are rather full of themselves. Anyways, I happened to have both their numbers and so I called the moment I landed PH. They told me the name of the hospital and with no further help from them, I found the place. The whole meeting was really weird. The girls were there in all their pettiness and his parents were there too. Pretty snubbish people. I introduced myself as his friend and I spent a few awkward minutes outside before they finally let me into his room.

Long story short, the accident was indeed terrible and Dozie was in a coma. It was all I could do not to faint at the news. I insisted on staying with him till him came to. His parents said they had business to take care of and wouldn’t be there all the time, his sisters said they had to go back to school… Everything was just somehow. Conversations with his parents were painful and awkward. They didn’t seem to approve of me but they just wouldn’t say. I always told Dozie he had a weird family and we would laugh it off but the last few days in PH were everything but amusing. By thursday evening, they had all gone and I was alone in the hospital with Dozie. I even grew lean. I wasn’t really eating. I just kept crying and praying and thinking about so many things. Why on earth was Dozie distant from his family? It was during this time that I recalled that every single time I had tried to get him to talk about his family, he always managed to change the topic somehow. And now, it really worried me. The doctors assured me that he would come around soon but they weren’t certain when. But in the meantime, I practiced something I had seen in the movies once. I kept talking to Dozie’s comatose body, reminding him of how happy we were, telling him how much I missed him and willing him to just wake up.

He finally did wake up on Saturday afternoon and tears of relief flooded down. I don’t know whether all my talk had anything to do with it or not but I was glad he was awake. The doctors said he would be fine, no bones were broken and he just needed rest and could be home in less than a week. I was glad. We talked a lot but with so many intervals because the doctor said it wasn’t wise to stress his brain. When I mentioned that his parents had been around and that I’d met them, he got mad. He didn’t yell or put up any displays but it was very clear that he was angry and I couldn’t understand it. As usual he locked down when I started asking questions and when I insisted, he threatened to have me sent out of the hospital if I didn’t stop. This was last night. By this morning he insisted I return back to Abuja. I was upset because I had a feeling it had to do with my questions last night. I even promised that I wouldn’t raise the matter again but he was adamant. He said I needed to get back to the office; well, even I knew that was true. My boss had tried to understand while he was in a coma but now that he was out of it she had begun asking when I would return.

I took the 12:30 flight to Abuja and I wrote this on my way from the airport to the house. I got home a few minutes ago and I just want to shower and sleep because I am so tired. Dozie has just been cool towards me all day and that is just wearing me down. It’s been a hell of a week for me and like I said, right now I’m confused. I don’t even know what to think or feel. I do know that things may likely never be the same between Dozie and I, ever again. No matter what it was that happened with his parents, I have a right to know, or don’t you think so?

Dear Diary… Saturday

Dear diary, I am absolutely, overwhelmingly, totally and completely in love with Dozie! I’m consumed by him!
He called me at about 11pm last night. Actually his call woke me up and we spoke for close to an hour. It felt so nice to have him listen patiently as I rambled on and on about how terrible my day had been and how lonely I felt. He cheered me up and made me laugh a lot and said I should not worry that everything was going to be alright. And then he promised that no matter how hectic the training went, he would never go a day without talking to me for at least 45mins over the phone! Now that made me want to cry!
Well, that’s not why I said I’m consumed by him.
I went to bed real late last night and when I woke up this morning I just chilled in bed. Didn’t even want to get chores done. Amaka was still in bed. No surprise. Anyways at about 9:30am, I finally got off the bed and went to the kitchen to try and fix myself breakfast. I was in the kitchen when I heard the shrill sound of the doorbell. I wondered who on earth would be coming in so early. I lazily walked to the front door and peered through the hole in the door to see who it was. I nearly fainted!
I hurriedly unbolted the door and unlocked it. There outside the door with a huge grin on his face was Dozie! I screamed and jumped into his arms. Dozie wouldn’t stop laughing and I wasn’t sure I could stop screaming. I was breathless but I didn’t care!
We walked into the house and I kept asking what happened and how it was that he was here in Abuja, instead of PH. The explanation he gave brought actual tears to my eyes. He missed me and he knew the missing was mutual and since weekends were free for them he decided to take the first flight down to Abuja to see me. He would be leaving with the last flight back to PH. I actually cried.
I’m so tired, lemme just run through everything. I made breakfast for him. We ate. Amaka joined us. She was pleasantly surprised. Dozie and I went out at about 11am. Went to some place in gwarimpa and played some games. Then we went swimming. We spent quite some time at the pool and before I knew it, it was almost 6pm. His flight was for 8.
We had ice cream and some cake and called Amaka who was nice enough to take us to the airport. We dropped him off at about 7:30pm and I could not explain exactly how I felt. But the emotions were thick and in my heart I was certain that I would never leave Dozie. We’ve been together for eight months and I’ve had nothing but more reasons to love him! Who spends close to a hundred thousand naira in a day just for some girl? I’m still in awe!
Well, Amaka and I have been home for a while and talking about it. I’m just overwhelmed! I intend to ask him about it though. Maybe tomorrow. He called a while ago to say they had landed safely and he was back in his hotel room. My darling Dozie! He simply lights up my world!

Dear Diary… Friday

Dear diary, I’ve had a most exhausting day! I went to work and even though it was Friday I had so much to do. My boss was pretty cranky today and I don’t know why. I told you before, bomb on her head. She yelled at me for misplacing a document on her table. Can you imagine? I kept it in her “in-tray” and she somehow managed to lose it in the middle of her clustered table and blamed me for it! Hello? How was that my fault?
Anyways, I breezed through today and was glad when 5:00pm came. Dozie didn’t have my time today and that made me sad. Apparently the training seems to have started in earnest already and it was pretty annoying.
I got home to an empty house. Amaka wasn’t home and she texted much later to say she would be going clubbing with some friends. Great! And I wasn’t invited! I’m pretty irritable right now. Trying to watch tv but everything seems boring. I really want to talk to Dozie but somehow I don’t. Maybe it’s because I know I can’t and that annoys me. I want him to call me and get all mushy but when I called him a few minutes ago, we couldn’t talk much. He ended the call in a hurry saying there was some welcome dinner he had to attend. I’m just sad and feeling out of sorts. *sigh*
Well, so much for living an exciting life. Today has been terrible! 😦

Dear Diary… Thursday

dd

Dear diary, Amaka and I woke up super late today, we don’t even know what happened! I guess it was probably because we slept off really late last night and forgot our phones in the living room and so when the alarms went off, we couldn’t even hear them! It was Amaka who rushed into my room at about 7:30am yelling for me to wake up! I was a little scared at first, thinking in my semi-conscious state that something had gone really wrong and then she pulled my curtains apart and sunlight came flooding in!

We hurriedly showered and got dressed, having no time for breakfast. She dropped me off at my office before rushing off to hers. I got in at about 8:45 and my boss was already in but thankfully, she didn’t say anything about my tardiness. I settled into my routine. Today was a busy one but not busy enough to allow me forget Dozie 😦 My darling Dozie! We met up at his place after work yesterday and I helped him pack his stuff. We talked and talked a lot and I could not for the life of me fathom how I was going to cope without seeing him for 2 whole weeks! I had to leave him early though so he could get some rest. He dropped me off at my place and reassured me that we would be just fine but I was still sad. Amaka and I talked about him a lot. She said it would be good for me and she was right. We took lots of ice cream and even some Baileys 😀 while we talked and later watched a movie. We didn’t get to sleep till about 2:00am, hence the reason we woke up late I guess.

Well, back to office matters. My boss had a meeting at the National Assembly today. If you see the bulk of documents she made me carry ehn! you’d have felt sorry for me. I nearly collapsed under the weight and sweat kept trickling down my face as we walked through the massive expanse of space that separated the “White house” from the gate. Don’t even know why they call it White House sef! This our country sha! We can copy everything! I sat in for the meeting with some senators and I felt really proud of myself! I was taking notes and it felt really cool.
After the meeting, my boss was talking to some people and I wandered away into the Senate Chambers; you that place where they usually hold all their sessions and we watch on tv? It felt cool being in there, I almost forgot myself. Anyways, boss found me and laughed at me for looking lost. We left and headed back to the office. It was almost 4pm.
I was really tired and kept wishing that time would fly by so I could close and it did fly by. I took a cab straight home and showered and called Dozie. We spoke for almost an hour. He said his day was rather boring and he missed me a lot! 🙂 my sweet sweet Dozie! Oh well, what can I do but count the days till his return. I really miss him so much, it hurts!

Dear Diary… Wednesday

dd

Dear diary, the meeting yesterday was rather long. Well, typical of most board meetings. I didn’t sit in but I was doing a lot of running around. I was excited however when they took a break! you should have seen the variety of food that was made available. I can’t even name them! Different tpes of rice and noodles and plantain and chicken and beef and fish! Omo! It was quite something! Myself and the other Directors’ secretaries gathered together in the kitchen and had a feast! The guy who usually caters for these meetings is nice and always reserves food for us.

I was really tired at the close of work and then I took a cab to Dozie’s office and waited for him to finish what he was doing so we could hang out together. The new intern in his office unnerves me. I didn’t mention it to him though. But the way she asked “is that your girlfriend?” as we were about leaving made me slightly uncomfortable. Oh well, Dozie said a proud “yes” and held my hands and that made me feel special.

We went to Roses restaurant at Garki and ordered a plate of isi-ewu and drinks. Dozie teased me about all the food I ate at the meeting and we laughed a lot. We basically traded gists about our day’s activities at the office. Dozie took two bottles of smirnoff ice and I took four. The drink has got a bit of alchohol in it. Actually, Dozie dared me to drink the four bottles and I did. By the time I was done, I was a little tipsy. I got up and started dancing to the music being played by a live-band there. Dozie kept laughing at me. People started staring at us and in order not to make me look too bad, he got up and joined me. By the time we were done, everyone clapped for us.

We left at about 10:00pm and he drove me home. I fell asleep in the car and when we got to my place, he got my sister to open the door and he carried me into my room. My sister said he planted a kiss on my cheek before he left. And when I woke up this morning, I saw a text from him “I promise to always love u, in tipsyness and in clear-headedness”. See why I said he’s really sweet?

Well, today has been a bit boring at the office. Didn’t have much to do. My boss was in but the office was generally quiet. I’m about closing though. But I’m a bit sad. I just remembered that Dozie is going to Port Harcourt tomorrow morning for some training. 😦 It’s going to last two weeks. It’s the first time we’ll be apart in a long long time. I miss him already. Oh well, I better start heading out. I’ve got to help him pack…