You know it’s funny how we wish people would understand us, not judge us and just see and accept us for who we are but yet we don’t do same. One thing you must know is that as humans, we all have the need to be loved and understood. As different as we all are, the underlying factor that makes us uniform is our human nature. What is your first reaction when u see a lady who isn’t even in her twenties nursing a child she had outside of wedlock? “Oh! girls of nowadays, they can’t even keep their legs closed anymore! mtscheeew”. You look at her with so much disgust and walk by. Really? Who made you the judge of her? What is your primary reaction when someone tells u they have AIDS? “ahhhhhh! He or she must have been engaging in pre-marital sex or sleeping around!” Wow! And you think that is the only means by which the disease can be contracted?
If there is anything that has fetched me a lot of friends and also earned me the respect of most people around me, it is the fact that I do not judge people. It is not something I just say, but also something I make a conscious effort to keep to. No matter who you are, there was a point in your life when you made a wrong choice, a wrong judgment call and things did not work out as you thought. Maybe it was something you did in secret, and no one ever got to know about it, so why must you judge someone whose mistake has been brought to the fore?
Experience has taught me that you should never judge anyone; regardless of what they have done because you most certainly do not know what you would have done were you to have been in their situation. I’m not saying when people do wrong we should applaud them, No; I’m merely saying “let he or indeed she, who is without sin be the first to cast a stone”. Try as much as possible to see the world through the eyes of others and it will amaze you how little you know. Exposure is very important. Go places, meet people, trade experiences and learn.
We would save ourselves and indeed everyone around us a lot of hurt if we just tried to see the world through the eyes of others. The subject of religion remains a major platform for being judgmental. This is really sad but undeniably true. The Christian believes that every non-Christian will go to hell for not practising Christianity and more often than not, rather than treat non-Christians with love, we despise and judge. The best way to influence someone is not by judging them but by showing love to them and this is me speaking from experience, try it, it works. So also, the fanatical Muslim believes that anyone who is not a Muslim should be condemned or even killed. This is the very reason for which Nigeria is dividing on every side. Because every individual consciously or unconsciously judges the other person and constantly views himself as being better and so the other should be treated less. This is so silly. If only you have the slightest clue what the person next to you is going through, you would not judge them for who they are or what they have done.
Learn to accept, tolerate and love. Look at the world through the eyes of others and please do not judge them. We all crave love, attention and affection and so we should give this to everyone around us rather than despise, condemn and judge. Chris Brown sang “please don’t judge me, I won’t judge you”. And really that is it, don’t judge me, I won’t judge you. Don’t judge them and they won’t judge you. Beyoncé Knowles in her song “He still loves me” said “Everybody’s got opinions, they share, they don’t been in my position, they don’t care that it’s breaking my heart when I hear what they have to say about me”. We hurt people when we judge them and say all sorts simply because we think we are better off or that we could have done better in their situation. Honestly, you just never know. If you are not wearing the shoes, you cannot ascertain whether it is tight or not.
One last time, I crave your indulgence, please where people are concerned, look at the world through their eyes and you most definitely will see differently.
I remain yours,