Clean Slates and Marathons

There’s something about starting off the New Year with a frenzy that never gets old. We tend to feel like we have a fresh slate, a new lease on life to start again and so inadvertently we put ourselves under undue pressure to run and achieve and before the first quarter is over, we find ourselves burning out.

I’d been thinking of putting out a few tweets but my restless mind wouldn’t let me articulate properly so I settled for a blogpost instead.

First of all, breathe. It’s a New Year, yes but you can leave some of the pressure behind.

At the end of last year, so many people wrote reviews (I did too). Some had had a fantastic 2017 with countless accomplishments, some had a not so great year and if you’re human like me, you may have felt a pinch reading some of the reviews and asking yourself why your year could not have been as great or why you could not achieve as much. Again, breathe.

Now the New Year is here and there is a measure of pressure to accomplish so much so you can also write about them. But slow down for a minute and think on this. Life is in seasons, and there are phases for our journeys so you must be patient with the process. I have written about the need to stay in your process before and this post is to reiterate that specifically for the New Year.

You must pace yourself out. Refuse the pressure to succeed overnight at anything. Refuse the pressure to suddenly get married or make babies or get a job or buy a car or own your house or even landed property. I know this is easier said than done but see, your peace of mind is so important! I say refuse the pressure because if you aren’t careful, you will find yourself measuring your progress with the scale of others’ journeys whereas you do not know all the details that make up theirs. Take some time off social media for a bit if you will. I promise it helps ease the pressure. Because if you can’t see some stuff, then you can’t be envious. Pace yourself out.

Towards the end of last year, I came across this brief thread by @Gbemisoke on Twitter, it had to do with her personal experience and it resonated deeply with me.

See, while you are in your process, people will attain the things you desire  even before you do. Find courage to be genuinely happy for them without malice while you stay in your process of building, trusting and waiting. Because there is the law of seed time and harvest and some seeds take a greater time to grow than others. But by all means nurture patiently till your harvest comes.

As we venture into 2018, here’s a friendly reminder to you to:

1. Stay in your process. Embrace your journey. Own your process and love it.
2. Mind your business. Comparing yourself with others will nearly always leave you feeling inadequate. But you don’t even know what makes the other person lose sleep at night. Every rose garden has got its thorns.
3. Take care of your mental health. Don’t let anyone fool you into thinking depression isn’t a thing. Be deliberate about what you feed your mind with and the people you let into your space.
4. Invest in a journal. If you use an iPhone, try the DayOne app. It is so efficient for documenting your journey and for measuring growth. iPhone or not, invest in a journal and be dedicated to it. You can thank me later.
5. Embrace an attitude of gratitude for all that you have while waiting and working for all you desire.
6. Choose to be happy. Be deliberate about this. Indulge in your favourite past times on occasion. Choose your happy. Do not leave that to chance.
7. Set SMART goals and be strategic and deliberate about executing them.
8. Consciously reject pressure brought on by the experience of others. It can be such a drainer.

The New Year is a marathon and if you know anything about running, you’ll agree with me that you don’t use the same pace for a sprint as you would a marathon. Again, pace yourself out, be deliberate about your journey and enjoy your process.

May the New Year be kind to you, but more importantly, may you be kinder to yourself in the New Year.

Love, Light and Good Vibes only.

@Oge_writes

For Wukeh; The Friend that sticks closer than a brother

Meeting and being friends with you changed my life.

You are the gift that keeps on giving.

You have blessed my life’s journey with your kindness and your warmth.

You overwhelm me with your love in the way and manner that Jesus would.

And you have facilitated some of the deepest and greatest connections I now have 😉

I remain thankful for you with every passing year.

Thankful for the Jesus-expression that you are.

Thankful for your solid counsel through every chaotic season.

Thankful for your unyielding and unwavering faith when doubts assail me.

Thankful for every random act of kindness you have sent my way.

Thankful for your assurance that you always have my back.

I remain thankful for you and your essence.

I could write an entire book on your person and how you love people so tangibly. An entire book would not even suffice to share on how you inspire, motivate and encourage. You give yourself so freely to everyone in need and somehow you never seem to run out of steam.

I could write an entire book and maybe some day I would. But for today, let a short blogpost suffice.

You are amazing Wukeh and I’ll never stop telling the world about you; the incredible human that transformed my life.

You’re my favourite person for all season and I love you so!

Happy Birthday my precious 💜💜

Oceans Apart (19) by Milli

“Wait… I am not sure I heard you correctly…please can you repeat what you just said?

“I said I am Chief Adekoya…the father of the young man who stabbed your son. You have a very lovely house by the way”

Dozie’s mother could not believe what she just heard. How dare he come to her house..how did he even find her? Anyway he was wasting his time if he had come to make amends. She was not going to drop the charges matter what.

“Get out!!!!”

“Pardon?”

“I said get out…leave my house…I cannot believe that you have the audacity to show up here after what your son did. Who even gave you the address to this place?”

Emeka ran upstairs to get Dozie.

“Someone is in the house and mummy is really upset please you need to come”.

“Who is the person?”

“Just come now…you will know when you get downstairs.”

“Okay”.

They both quickly went downstairs and saw their mum screaming and shouting at Chief Adekoya.

When she saw them…she told Dozie who the man was. He couldn’t believe his ears when he heard it.

“Good evening gentleman”, Mr Adekoya said,…I beleive you are the one my son stabbed.”

“Yes I am”. Dozie answered rather coldly,

“I just want to talk to your mum for a little while”.

“I am not talking to you…leave my house or I will call the police!!!”

“Mummy please…. listen to what he has to say.”

I said NO!!!….infact I am going upstairs..when you are ready to leave Chief whatever you call yourself you can leave” with that, she stormed upstairs.

“I guess it’s you I have to talk to I cannot blame your mum for acting this way ..can I have a seat please?..I have been standing since I got here..I’m not very young you know”,  Chief Adekoya said smiling.

Dozie was a bit puzzled at Chief’s calmness. I mean he was supposed to be begging for forgiveness but instead, he was smiling and asking for a seat.

He signaled to Emeka to leave them alone.

“Sure…… you can sit down”

“Thank you. First of all I want to apologise for what my son did to you he let his strong will get the better of him”

Dozie did not know how to react. This guy was very calm while he spoke. He began to wonder if he was really understood the gravity of what his son did.

“Okay”

“I’m also aware your mother has pressed charges and I have come to ask her to drop them on my son’s behalf. When he is discharged from the hospital he will come and tender his own apologies.”

“Erm…from what happened some minutes ago, I am sure you are smart enough to realise that my mum is not going to drop the charges.”

“Young man I know my son stabbed you but you should still give me the respect I deserve”.

“Your son stabbed me for crying out loud. Instead of you to be sober, you are here talking to me about respect.”  His anger was rising.

I am sober…If I wasn’t trust me I would not be here. Please tell your mother to drop the charges.

“She will not”

“It’s for her own good because the truth is, she will not win.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because one phone call from me, and the case will be completely wiped out like it never existed….I mean I could have done that without coming here and every single lawyer your mum goes to will turn her down but out of respect I came to speak with her. I know you are a smart guy. Convince your mum to drop the case and let bygones be bygones.

With that, he stood up, dropped his card on the table, and said, “Keep me posted on your mum’s response thank you for your time. I will be waiting for your call. By the way not many people have the number on this particular card… so be wise” .

Dozie was dumb founded and watched him as he left the house.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

A WEEK LATER

Bimbo was elated. He was getting better and the pains had drastically reduced. Best news of all was he was going to be discharged soon. He could not wait. He told Eno the good news and he was so happy for him.  One thing that still troubled him was that he needed to see Dozie. He needed to apologise to him. He had learnt a really big lesson from all this drama. He closed his eyes and without wasting time he fell fast asleep.

“I guess Emeka and I sorted out now…we have overstayed our welcome, Dozie said.

“Yes you are my love,” Behi said.

He had just finished booking tickets for their trip back to London.

“So are you still going to see him?”

“Yes I am….will drop you at home before I head over there.”

“Okay”.

Dozie had decided that he was going to see Bimbo. That seemed to be the last thing for him to do so that he could put all that had happened behind him. He dropped Behi at home and headed to the hospital where Bimbo was. Osas had told him his room number.

Bimbo was trying to open a bar of chocolate when Dozie knocked and entered the room. Bimbo could not believe his eyes. He just stared at Dozie without saying anything.

“Hope you are getting better?”, Dozie asked.

“Er…er….yes..yes I am…sorry it’s just you are the last person I expected to see”

“I know…I’m happy you are  getting better. Honestly I just want to close this chapter. I…”

“Please …let me talk first. Dozie I am extremely sorry for what I did to you and Behi. Honestly it was not worth it I…. almost lost my life. I did have a good…. chance with Behi some years back but….. I am sure she has told you I was pretty messed up back then. I have always believed that you can get…. anything or in this case any girl… you want but I went about it the wrong way. I should have simply… left her alone. I also…know that….my dad got involved and that’s …why your mother…dropped the charges. Dozie please for all of this…forgive me. I beg you. I think I have been punished enough. You have no idea what the first few weeks were like.

Dozie was touched. It was obvious he had some difficulty in talking which made him a bit slow when doing so but he still pushed himself to say all he did. He also saw from the look on his face that he was sober. It was time for him to do his own part and accept his forgiveness.

“Well spoken….I forgive you.”

As soon as he said those words he knew deep down in his heart that this drama was finally over.

Stay tuned for the Series Finale which comes up on the 24th. Don’t miss it.

Stay in Your Process

Two years ago, I began a journey to obtain a law degree in a foreign university and right now, I can honestly say it’s one of the most challenging things I have ever done but I enjoyed every single moment of it- ish.

Let me explain. There were days I got tired of studying. Days where I just said “come and read book is not come and die” and I tuned off from studying or doing anything remotely academically related. There were nights I kept vigil at the library, battled assignment deadlines and struggled to memorize tons of case law in preparation for exams. There were also days where I battled terrible lows and just disconnected from the world because in the famous words of Erin, “I just can’t do life today.”

I think every student can relate to this. But this post isn’t necessarily about going to school and obtaining a degree. This post is about staying in your process, regardless of what journey you’re undertaking.

I use the phrase ‘stay in your process’ a whole lot. And my close friends are more than familiar with it by now because anytime one of them is going through a rough patch in any endeavor, I remind them that it is all part of arriving at the big picture. Nobody likes unpleasantness, so if we have our way, we would get through storms in a flash and soak in the sun for days unending.

If we had our way, we would not have fights with loved ones, we would not encounter difficulties in business, we would not fail exams or essays, we would not make mistakes… In fact, we would not entertain any bit of difficulty whatsoever.

But here’s what I want to share with you today. On the journey to achieving your dreams, you will go through a breaking and making process. Own it and stay in it. When potential investors bury your proposal under a heap of others gathering dust in their office, stay in your process of building. When you fail that course you studied so hard for, stay in your process of building. When you have that fight with your new lover, stay in your process of building, when you hit that brick wall in that product you’re developing, stay in your process of building, when you get rejected by that publisher, stay in your process of building. When your blog gets very minimal hits in the first few months of running it, stay in your process of building.  When you lose that online or offline competition, stay in your process of building. When you pull a muscle while training for a marathon, stay in your process of building. When you fall off the fitfam train on your weight loss journey, stay in your process of building.

Challenges are an opportunity to build capacity. It’s why I welcome them. But truth remains, some days I am too tired to fight and I just want a smooth sailing. So this is as much for myself as it is for everyone else. And just so we have a permanent reminder, Romans 5:3-4 (NLT)

“We can rejoice too when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation”

I completed my 2 year program and now have a law degree. 

But I don’t in any way think it’s the end of the journey. Naah. I am quite ambitious so there are many more dreams and goals ahead. But I am determined to own my process and stay in it, no matter how rough the roads get. Success is a never ending journey which is why Paul says he forgets those things which he has attained, and keeps reaching forward for something higher ahead of him.

So here’s to you and your journey. Your roads may be rough, but may you remain resilient, steadfast and immoveable, always abounding in your hustle, knowing that your persistence and capacity will be rewarded with sweet, sweet success.

Have a fantastic Tuesday!

@Oge_writes

Blog Update; New Series Alert

Hi guys. So it’s been a really long time off the blog and I have missed writing so much! I have equally missed you guys on here! 

The reason I’ve been away for so many months is because I was tidying up my law degree. God has been faithful and it turned out really well and right now, issa graduate! Yay! There’s still a bit of studying in the horizon but I think I miss writing too much to care. Lol. 

Anyways, I come bearing good tidings. 

One of my wonderful readers here has written a series and has offered to share it here every week. And seeing as the blog has been dormant for a while, I am only too happy to share. 

The title is “Oceans Apart” and the author is Milli. It will run every Friday at 8am. Please read, comment and share. It’s always encouraging to have feedback.

Asides that, I’ve been working on another series which I’ll begin sharing in a few weeks. There’s also a collabo going on behind the scenes. That actually has me most excited. I can’t share details about it yet. But I’ll let you guys know more once I’m able to. 

So see you 6pm tonight with the first episode of Oceans Apart. 

Love and Light! 

@Oge_writes